Feast of the Holy Family
On this feast of the Holy
Family we look at Joseph and Mary and Jesus I wonder if sometimes we say,
“Whoa, how are we ever going to live up to that? Joseph was a saint, Mary was conceived
without sin, Jesus is the Son of God. Where do you go after that?” Any virgin births here? Probably not. So why do we put these people up there as
models for our families.
If we go right back to the
beginning, how was Jesus born? They had
to travel probably 75 miles to get from
So here we have Mary and
Joseph and Jesus. Human beings like you
and me, aware of all the doubles, of troubles, of difficulties, pains, hurts,
anxieties. Welcome to the human
family. That’s why we hold Mary and
Joseph and Jesus up as the Holy Family.
Not because they were perfect or saints, but because they model for you
and me about relationships. This is what
families are all about, relationships.
You know there are no
perfect families are there? No perfect
moms, no perfect dads, no perfect children, no perfect brothers and sisters, no
perfect grandparents. We’re all just
human beings trying to do the best we can with what we have.
Notice in our readings,
especially from the Book of Sirach, “My son take care of your father when he is old. Grieve him not as long as he lives.” Well I am sure that there are some of us here
today, especially say people when you are in your 40’s and maybe 50’s, if your
parents are still living. And then
you’ve got your own children and perhaps grandchildren and you find yourself
being caregivers for both ends of the spectrum.
Guess why? Our parents are living
longer too. And we find that many times
these people need our care as well. And
that can put a lot of anxiety into our lives as well.
So the readings are
reminding us to honor one another, to take care of one another as Paul says
with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, bearing with one
another, forgiving one another.
Wow. Again welcome to the human
condition.
You know right from the
beginning you as parents were given a great challenge I think, or a great
responsibility. When
you presented your children for baptism. In the very rite of baptism it
said, “Mom’s
and dads, you are the first teachers of your children in the ways of
faith. May you also be the best of
teachers bearing witness to that faith by what you say and do in Christ Jesus,
Our Lord.” That
was the responsibility given to you at the baptism of your own children. And you try to live that out the best that
you could.
I am sure that there are
some people here this morning, perhaps you might be saying, “Where did we go
wrong? We tried to teach our children
the values of the faith. We brought them
up. We even sent them to Catholic school
or whatever it might have been. And they
are not practicing their faith now. They
don’t go to church. Maybe they left the
Catholic church, don’t go anywhere, perhaps joined
another tradition. We say where did we
go wrong?” You didn’t go wrong. You did the best you could with what you had,
you imparted to them. And each of us has
to at one point in time take responsibility for our own lives. So don’t be hard on yourselves parents, you
did what you could with what you had.
You know there’s a wonderful
friend of mine in a different city. And
this mother and her husband have 10 children.
And she was telling me this story, that she was pregnant now with her 11th
child. And she was telling the story how
her little 4-year-old was one day just following her around the house. And she said I would go by the sink and he’d
be right behind me and I’d back up and step on his feet. I’d say, “John, get out of the way a little
bit.” Then I’d be doing something else
and there he was right behind me again.
I kept saying, “John why don’t you go outside and play with the other
kids?” He’s say, “I just want to be with
you mommy a couple times.” She said
about the 10th time that I backed up and there he was again and I
stepped on his feet, I said, “John, what is going on with you today?” She said my little 4-year-old just looked up
and me with his little blue eyes and said, “Well mom, my Sunday School teacher
told me I should always walk in the footsteps of Jesus and I can’t see Him so I
want to walk in yours.” You and parents
know that far better than I, how quickly children learn. They see everything that you do. They may not know how to interpret it but
they want to and they learn from you.
You teach them from the youngest moments on the values, the sanctity,
the dignity of life, how to be people of integrity. Be the best of teachers by what you say and
do.
I think there are three
things when I think about the Feast of Holy Family that make
sense to me:
1.
Never miss a
chance to say, “I love you” to one another.
Moms and dads to one another, to your children, to your spouse, to your
parents, even to your brothers and sisters.
When you get up in the morning, before you go to bed at night maybe when
you tuck the little ones in. Before you
walk out the door to work or school.
When you come back home in the evening.
Say “I love you.” You know there will
come a moment in time, if it hasn’t happened to you
already it will at one point. When you
will have to stand by a graveside and say farewell to your father or your
mother or a spouse or a child or a sibling.
Don’t wait until that moment to say, “I love you.” Do it in the living years so that you will
not have that regret, oh I wish I would have.
If forgiveness is needed do it now, don’t wait. You cannot not say it enough, I love you, I forgive you. It
took me until I was into my mid-40’s before I could
finally say that to my dad and he would say it back to me. My dad is now 96. He’s at the final days of his time here on
this earth. He keeps saying, “Why am I
still here?” He could die today. It might be 6 months. My brothers, sister and myself know that that
phone call is going to come one of these days.
I was fortunate back in September when I went home I had two weeks and
we spent some good time together. I’ve said
my farewells to my dad, we hugged, we have loved each other, we
know that. I get to go home again in a
couple of weeks and if he’s still alive I’ll do it again. Do not wait.
2.
Secondly I
think, and it kind of comes from our readings too. Speak with loving kindness. Respect one another. No shouting, yelling at one another in the
family. Nothing is ever accomplished by
trying to shout somebody down. We just
get more angry and resentful. So watch
the tone of our voice. I remember in my
family my mom and dad never yelled. I
never recall getting yelled at because I was such a perfect child, I guess, I
don’t know. But all it took was mom
little wave of the finger and wow you knew.
Go to your room, do the dishes, do what you’re told to do. So we don’t need to shout. Just speak respectfully, honor one
another.
3.
Then I think
maybe a third and final thing is, don’t ever take each other for granted. You know we can be so busy. You can always think about other people out
there, we need to yes love other people.
So many people poor and needy who need our love, care and affection. But it starts in your own home. Do not take one another for granted. And what each member of that family brings to
that family because God has give you this mother, this father, these children,
these brothers and sisters, these grandparents.
We get to choose our friends don’t we?
But we did not choose our families.
They are given to us. So don’t
take each other for granted. And isn’t
it wonderful perhaps, some people have told me their spouse is their best
friend, blessed are you. I consider my
sister Mary one of my best friends. Oh
I’m sure as kids we probably hurt each other a lot and teased each other, but
over the years I know I can call up Mary and she will be there for me. And she listens, she encourages, and she’s
just there. She is not only my sister
she is one of my best friends.
Always say, “I love
you”. Treat each other with kindness and
respect. Never take each other for
granted. Encourage. Pull out the goodness, the best from each
other. In that way our families will
really be holy families.
We are here this morning as
the brothers and sisters of Jesus who come to this table this morning to be
nourished with His own life. Through
this Eucharist God is saying to you and to me, as I’m sure many times Jesus,
Mary and Joseph looked at each other and said, “I love you.” That’s what God is doing this morning, coming
to each of us and saying very simply, “I love you.”